To improve your marriage through counseling, it’s not only God’s grace, and the counselor’s knowledge, skills, and abilities, but the couples hard work. I am very helpful with the following difficulties. Emotional Affairs, Adultery, Poor Communication, Conflict Resolution, Anger Management, Arguing, Pornography, Emotional Abuse, Grieving, Power Struggles, and Forgiveness.
Some couples think that it is either too late for them or that they can solve their marital problems on their own and don't need anyone's help. Actually, there are many ways a marriage can be saved, including direct intervention from God, following your own self directed efforts, seeking the help of friends and family, or going to a counselor. Counseling can be the beginning of a more satisfying marriage. I believe that through Professional Christian Counseling within an individual setting most couples can work out major difficulties in their marriage. Remember, it's not just the counselor's gifts and talents, but your hard work, that can renew your marriage. You must be willing to do this hard work or the chances of success are proportionally diminished. Please keep your resolve to work on your relationship, and I will do all I can to help you. Remember, the problems that bring you to counseling didn't appear overnight, and realistically it's your hard work that speeds up progress.
Some goals of marriage counseling include: learning how to resolve differences without deeply hurting each other, learning to take responsibility for your own part in the marital discord, and learning how to forgive and move forward.
Marriage: A Ministry of Service
The Marriage Bond
Sacramental Marriage and Grace
Marriage Counseling and Pornography
Marriage Counseling and Drug & Alcohol Addiction
Marriage Counseling and Abortion
Marriage Counseling and Adultry
Marriage Counseling and Conflict Resolution
Marriage Counseling and Improved Communication
Marriage Counseling for Emotional Affairs
Marriage Counseling and Forgiveness
Marriage Counseling and Enmeshment
Marriage Counseling and Children
Marriage Counseling and Power Struggles
Post Divorce Relationships
Step-parenting and Blended Families
Helping Divorced Single Moms
The Holy Bible
Rough Draft of future content. Not worth reading at this time. Full of a multitude of errors
It's important to learn the skills for successful marriage. When things are not well between a couple there are only a few choice. The couple could divorce, stay together and be miserable, or learn the skills necessary successful marriage. Rather than list the things that should not be done, let me list of things that can be done to improve any marriage.
Each of the couple should learn to say positive reinforcing and encouraging things to their spouse. This is even more helpful if it is done in front of the children, friends, and neighbors. We learn how to do fun things, especially those things you did when 1st married. Praise each other publicly.
Make big decisions as a team. Try to work cooperatively. Learning the skills to D escalate disagreements before they get to the points when things are said and done which make an indelible mark. Put effort into creating a total marriage make over. Try really hard to press the restart button and reboot the marriage. Don’t entrench yourself in a win loose competition.
For restoration to occur through counseling, it’s not only God’s grace and the counselor’s knowledge, skills, and abilities, but the couples hard work. Both client’s hard work. When one of the couple or is unwilling to do the hard work toward restoration, the probabilities of divorce greatly increase. Retrovaille is an important part of restoration. It is a healing ministry of the Holy Catholic Church and has much power to heal.
People interested in the pursuit of holiness can spend a lot of time in practices to foster their holiness. Married people also practice the pursuit of holiness. Since we know we are to present ourselves as living sacrifices, and since we know that after the sacrament of marriage the two become one, those interested in holiness, best practice, is to present our marriage to God as a living sacrifice. Presenting the marriage to God reduces self interest and is more unitive. It is a good prayer to ask God to make you holy. It’s a different type of good prayer to ask God to make your marriage a holy and acceptable living sacrifice.
I’m not going to speak at length about separation. Just know there are two types of separation: separation as the precursor to divorce and separation as a strategy to reset the marriage. Sometimes separation to reset the marriage is exactly what God wants the couple to do. This is evidenced by their healing and restoration which didn’t occur prior to the separation. (Bad Separation)
Couples With Mutual Allegations
Learn to Take Responsibility for Their Own Part and Stop Blaming the Other
Love is Patient, Kind etc Standard for Marriage
Father Apostolies Story
I was at a marriage seminar and Fr. Apostole told the following story. He was on an airplane with another monk. It was a big airplane. The type with two seats on the left, three seats on the right and about forty rows. He, the other monk and a woman sat together. He wasn’t paying attention to the woman as she was working on her computer and he was engaged in conversation with his brother monk. When the flight attendant came by and asked what they would like to eat the woman responded saying she didn’t want to eat anything. The flight attendant, being friendly, asked, “are you sure you don’t want anything?” The woman said, “No, I’m fasting.” This caught Fr. Apostole’s attention and he began talking with her. He asked what she was fasting for and she responded, “I’m fasting for the destruction of Christian marriages.” What are the odds of two monks and a witch sitting together on an airplane? It seems to me that since the devil roams around like a lion looking for someone he could devour, that Christian marriages, as compared with Buddhist, Muslim, etc., marriages are a more tasty morsel. What this means to the struggling married couple that to some degree, they are under spiritual attack. On the surface they may think their spouse is the problem, but they must not be blind to the spiritual attacks, so as not so as not to be caught off guard. Knowing the nature of spiritual attacks is the beginning of defense.
The Rosberg Story
State of Emnity and Reactivity
Turn Gaze Within
there are some predictors of divorce: no premarital counseling, unrealistic expectations, ignorance of the other persons personality and behaviors, and when you’re trying to change the other person.
So many people going to a marriage thinking that they can once married change the other person. This is an era in logic. The object is to look inward toward yourself not outward toward the other person. It is hard enough to change ourselves. We often try and fail. So, if we can’t change ourselves how can we change our stops?
In the 12 step programs they have a term called, “working your program.” This means that you’re following the program and doing the hard work. Now when two people in a a be a get married they are still supposed to keep on there program. It is a common phenomenon in a a, and not a good thing, when one of the spouses begins to work the other spouse’s program. This is a taboo thing to do a a councils against working someone else’s program. It really just means you get into someone else’s business and you take the focus off yourself which is where it ought to be directed
living together: generally there is a commitment problem and more abuse and infidelity.
Generally women went together to secure a man for marriage. While a man lives to get the benefits of marriage without commitment. An argument could be made that he doesn’t really love you until he buys a rain and before God and family marries.
A woman with strong self-esteem would probably think that she is to valuable and that she is not giving herself to any man who is unwilling to marry. That he should move out for marriage.
Another criteria a predictor of divorce is constant criticism reasons for divorce
for major needs of women
making women’s cure isn’t made by money that men put things in front of her she knows where her man’s heart is. Turning your heart to her makes her feel secure. Men shut down because wife is critical, judgmental, not respectful, and sometimes talks to others.
Women need her husband to be open. A woman trust a sacrificial man man trusts and honoring woman woman can’t because she doesn’t want to go first.
For success will marriage he God first, then each other the most important issue in a marriage is a personal relationship with God.
You are giving everything to ministry, I am second. Don’t blame me on the altar of your success. You may say your spouse is first of where are you giving your time and energy&
most things that destroyed the marriage are intrinsically good things but out of priority.
Objectifying women: a man could say he is pursuing his wife but it’s really just only to satisfy his sexual needs. It’s not being loved for the whole entire being. It’s like using the wife as a tool. I have heard many women say that when we are having sex we are not making love and really all he is doing is masturbating inside me. Basically she believes she is being used.
Counseling can save the marriage, but he can help the couple work through the contamination of an affair.
Tell them you not going to save the marriage, but you are going to help them work through the old marriage that became contaminated by the affair. Working through it is important to whether they stay married or not. Working through the marriage is important because as you are going to be in each other’s presence in the future. The goal is to stay focused on the target which is to work through the trauma of the infidelity. Another goal would be to get them talking about their marriage and less about the affair.
All first adulteries have contributing factors
D the betrayed spouse has the right to know anything and everything they want to know there are no restrictions.
Everything the betrayed spouse knows he will have to forgive. Will also have to work on healing visual images. The spouse who have the affair can’t pay for this. There is no way to pay for adultery or betrayal. When couples can’t recover from adultery it usually comes from one of two sources: personal history
in complete forgiveness. The perpetrator should take some time and list everything that he wants forgiveness for. Only does one chance to do this. Be thorough.
We are called to unconditional love, but we are not called to unconditional relationship for reconciliation.
Ask couples to tell the story of your first date, how they got together and how they met. This helps them get back in touch with how they first fell in love.