Trust your own instincts! If your intuition is speaking to you, consider it may be the Holy Spirit warning you. So when you hear the voice of the Lord - - Harden not your heart. Don’t let your child be around anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable.
Pedophiles are very sneaky predators. They do their evil work in the darkness of secrecy. No wonder, secrecy is a demonic strategy to destroy mankind. Secrecy starts when parents don’t know the signs of child sexual abuse. Children too need to become educated about child sexual abuse so they can feel empowered with boundaries which can help insulate them from predatory assaults. Only God knows the number of children targeted by the pedophiles for sexual abuse but escaped the trauma because parents and children were “child sexual abuse informed.”
Besides being sneaky, sexual predators are very clever. Sneaky and clever like a fox, or a snake, or a demon. While some use kidnapping, rape and murder, others use less obvious strategies like deception, threats, playing, and other forms of coercion to sexually engage children and to maintain their victims silence. Pedophiles sometimes seductively groom victims by buying gifts or arranging outings to sport events. Other predators embed themselves in volunteer or employment situations which give them access to many potential victims. Let’s not forget about all the step father pedophiles who sexually abuse their step children. Any child regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, etc., is vulnerable to sexual abuse. Your child may be targeted by a pedophile or is already a victim.
Teach your children the difference between healthy and unhealthy touches. Make sure children know that adults and older children never need help with their private body parts. For example: bathing or going to the bathroom. It is wise to teach them more than only “stranger danger.” because most children are abused by someone they know and trust. Teach children about body safety and healthy body boundaries. Start teaching your children about this issue as early as possible because some predators like preschool children. Always teach children accurate names of private body parts. Empower children to know they always have the right to say no when they don’t want to be touched, even in non-sexual ways. Besides focusing only on detection, it is imperative to focus on prevention and communication. Probably, the best time to talk to your child about sexual abuse is now. Right Now! An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of counseling.
Besides being a victim of crime, the sexual abuse victim is very traumatized by sexual abuse. How can a young mind process such a grave trauma? The short answer is they don’t process it well and their young mind has many reasons not to disclose being sexually abused. For example, pedophiles threaten bodily harm to the child and/or their family, the child fears being removed from home, they fear not being believed, the child may worry about getting the pedofile trouble. Victims of sexual abuse sometimes believe that the sexual abuse was their own fault so they don’t disclose because they fear getting in trouble themselves. Some children are abused at such a young age they might not have the language skills to communicate about the abuse or may not understand that the actions of the pedophile are abusive. This is often the case when the sexual abuse is made into a game. Some children don’t disclose because of embarrassment, shame or guilt.
If a child does disclose sexual abuse, it is very important to stay calm, listen carefully, and NEVER EVER blame the child. Thank the child for telling you and reassure him or her of your support.
Texas law requires anyone who thinks a child, or person 65 years or older, or an adult with disabilities is being abused, neglected, or exploited must report it to DFPS. To make a report call The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services at 800-252-5400. If you need immediate assistance or if the child is in imminent danger, call 911.
The Signs of Childhood Sexual Abuse
There are signs you can look for to tell if your child has been or is currently being sexually abused? Children who have been sexually abused may display a range of emotional and behavioral reactions characteristic of most children who have experienced sexual trauma. Educated and vigilant parents need to know that sexually abused children may display the following:
The Physical Signs
Soiled, torn or bloody underwear which can't be explained
Urinary tract infections
Sexually transmitted infections
Signs of trauma to the genital area, anus and mouth, like bumps and scabs
Other unexplained bleeding, bruising, or blood on the sheets
Abnormal vaginal or penile discharge are also warning signs.
The Behavioral and Emotional Signs
Sexual Awareness far beyond what is age appropriate
New words for private body parts
Fear of certain people or places
Doesn't want to be left alone with particular individual(s)
Inappropriate sexual behavior or sexual play like sexual activity with toys or other children
Psychiatric problems like depression and anxiety
Unusually irritable
Angry outbursts
Becomes unable to get along with others
Becomes unusually quiet or withdrawn,
Has insomnia, night mares, or night terrors
Restarts bed wetting
Changes in normal eating patterns
Restarts thumb sucking
Bathing or undressing causes fear
No parent wishes there children to have emotional or behavioral problems which require the services of a professional counselor.
Children and adolescent problems can be triggered by bullying, abuse (emotional, sexual, or physical), divorce, remarriage, blended families, the death of a loved one, mental illness in the family, drugs or alcohol, etc. These experiences can cause temper tantrums, rebellion, school problems, a very tense household environment, legal problems, etc. Since children can be uncomfortable talking with their parents, thank God there are counselors who can help.
Bullying has been a problem for generations, but cyberbullying in new. It lets the bullying progress from the school into the home through email, instant messaging, texts, pictures and videos, phone calls, chat rooms, web sites, and social networks. Like bullying, it torments and humiliates children, but anonymity gives the perpetrator license to be much more cruel. Parents usually find out only after it has escalated because children are embarrassed to tell. Children have committed suicide because of cyberbullying.
Parents can give good advice and establish household policies to protect their children. They can also show support by telling the child they are on their side.
Here are some safety guidelines for parents: 1) Report online bullying to the police, school, and company that runs the cyberbullying medium; 2) Print everything, photograph it if it can’t be printed; 3) Use all parental controls; 4) Check friends lists and don’t let children accept people as friends unless you actually know them; 5) Don’t let them have passwords you don’t know; 6) Keep adult passwords from children; and 7) pray for them.
Instruct children not to: 1) share passwords, even with their closest friends; 2) respond or retaliate to cyberbullying since this usually makes matters worse; and 3) practice sexting since sending nude pictures is viewed as distributing child pornography.
Helping with Sleep Problems
Some sleep problems require medication, but there are things you can try before opting for medications. Remember, sleep problems can be a symptom of other more serious psychiatric disorders like depression and anxiety, or some non psychiatric medical condition, so talk with your child's pediatrician.
Here are some things you can do to help your child sleep better:
Keep your child on a regular sleep schedule. Letting your child stay up late and getting up late on weekends can cause a lot of sleep problems during the rest of the week
Control your child's food choices around bedtime. Junk foods, caffeine (coffee, tea, or chocolate), soda, candy, pudding and pastry. These can disrupt your child's sleep.
Try to make the bedroom dark, with a comfortable temperature and quiet
Regular daily exercise helps with getting good sleep
Find a relaxing activity for your child to do before bedtime
Bullying has been a problem for generations, but cyberbullying in new. It lets the bullying progress from the school into the home through email, instant messaging, texts, pictures and videos, phone calls, chat rooms, web sites, and social networks. Like bullying, it torments and humiliates children, but anonymity gives the perpetrator license to be much more cruel. Parents usually find out only after it has escalated because children are embarrassed to tell. Children have committed suicide because of cyberbullying. Parents can give good advice and establish household policies to protect their children. They can also show support by telling the child they are on their side.
Here are some safety guidelines for parents: 1) Report online bullying to the police, school, and company that runs the cyber bullying medium; 2) Print everything, photograph it if it can’t be printed; 3) Use all parental controls; 4) Check friends lists and don’t let children accept people as friends unless you actually know them; 5) Don’t let them have passwords you don’t know; 6) Keep adult passwords from children; and 7) pray for them.
Instruct children not to: 1) share passwords, even with their closest friends; 2) respond or retaliate to cyber bullying since this usually makes matters worse; and 3) practice sexting since sending nude pictures is viewed as distributing child pornography.
ADHD and Medication
Research has proven that medication can be very helpful in treating ADHD. It improves daily functioning. It can reduce symptoms which significantly interfere with home and school. If ADHD is left untreated it can cause alot of additional serious problems like social functioning and psychological development.
The medication could help with: reducing fidgeting, academic and behavioral problems in school, restlessness, being "on the go" or "driven by a motor," excessive talking and playing loudly, tuning out and daydreaming, running and climbing excessively. It can also help with concentration, completing work, forgetfulness, loosing things, listening, chores, organizational skills, paying attention, and getting along better with others.
All medications have side effects, so consult the prescribing physician. Also, google the medications name and learn for yourself the benefits and side effects of any prescribed ADHD medication.
At home help your child remember tasks by giving him a chore list, give your child age appropriate chores, avoid giving multiple directions at the same time and when you do give directions make brief clear statements. Also, make sure your child is looking at you when you are giving instructions. Immediately reward behaviors you want your child to repeat.
Helping Children and Teens with Sleep Problems
Some sleep problems require medication, but there are things you can try before opting for medications. Remember, sleep problems can be a symptom of other more serious psychiatric disorders like depression and anxiety, or some non psychiatric medical condition, so talk with your child's pediatrician.
Here are some things you can do to help your child sleep better:
Keep your child on a regular sleep schedule. Letting your child stay up late and getting up late on weekends can cause a lot of sleep problems during the rest of the week
Control your child's food choices around bedtime. Junk foods, caffeine (coffee, tea, or chocolate), soda, candy, pudding and pastry. These can disrupt your child's sleep.
Try to make the bedroom dark, with a comfortable temperature and quiet
Family Counseling
When it feels like the issues in your family are too big for you to handle and aren't getting any better, it is probably time to consider family counseling.
Deciding to start family counseling can be helpful when the family's own resources for solving problems are not working. It can help families find better ways to manage their conflicts and struggles. The family therapist can help family members improve communication, learn better ways to resolve conflicts, and learn better coping skills to bring everyone closer.
In addition to the above, other things that family counselors can help with are:
Family illness, death and suicide Grieving the loss of a loved one A family member's mental illness Substance abuse or addiction Disagreements about money Behavioral problems in children School problems Difficulties between siblings Extended family problems Conflict between parents and children