Post Divorce Relationships

By introducing a new relationship too early you can make a bad situation worse, for you and your children.  It’s more common than you would think. 

There are many opinions about when to introduce a new relationship to the children. (Extremists say that all divorced parents must wait until the children are grow up and moved out).  It seems prudent to make the introductions after the transition from casual to serious, since things don’t always work out after the initial excitement and romance.  This will protect your children from possible emotional ties and heartbreak.  Children need your attention, not your split attention given to someone you are dating. 

Fast forwarding.  It would be great if blended families worked like the Brady Bunch. Unfortunately, it can go from difficult to volatile.  Accept the reality that the blending process takes time, there is a lot of adjusting needed.  For example, don’t force your new spouse’s children to call you mom, let it happen naturally.  Lets face it, step children may never love you, but they should respect you.

Sometimes children don’t want to spend time with a divorced parent.  Don’t rule out sexual abuse by your EX’s new partners friends and family.  Of course, if you truly believe there is abuse or neglect, contact CPS.  If your children are in immediate danger, call 911.  For example, if you EX drives drunk with your children, Call 911, get him arrested and make your children safe. 

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