To be wounded by grief isn’t like being sick, because grief isn’t a disease to be cured. Grief is normal after the loss of a loved one, but it can be distorted and go way beyond the normal zone. Sometimes it seems nobody wants to talk about it, or they want to rush you through the pain of loss. Grief needs to be lived through. Even friends and family can prevent you from continuing your grieving. Sometimes a counselor is needed to walk with the bereaved down the long path.
Counseling can offer the insight and strategies to help those shattered by grief to return to a sense of wholeness. It can help you learn how to reinvest in life and put loss into perspective, while still honoring the death of a loved one.
Counseling can help you manage your stress and facilitate adjustment to your new life without your loved one - in a healthy way. Counseling can give you the tools to help cope with anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays.
Eventually you will need to release the grief. Death has to be placed as a memory in order to heal. It can’t stay in the here and now.
The circumstances surrounding the loss have a big impact on the intensity of grief. When a loved one is progressively getting sicker and sicker, their death isn’t a surprise, and we brace ourselves. We think, “At least he isn’t suffering now. He’s in a better place.” Ironically, when someone else says this, we can actually get angry.
Sometimes death is sudden and tragic, as in suicide, murder, or a car accident, among others. I’m not minimizing anyone’s death, but these sudden deaths are often more painful due to shock.
Why would God allow such a thing to happen? Am I allowed to be angry at God for allowing the death? If you are angry with God, I encourage you to talk to God about your anger, and keep asking the questions until you’re satisfied. If you get angry you should be careful not to isolate yourself from spiritual support. The church is great in helping in the death crisis as well as the coping in the immediate future.
Counseling can also help prepare you for your own death. There are the financial and legal issues which need to be put in order, but, after death, the only thing you take with you is the good things you did. So the only way not to fear death would be to prepare for it by living a virtuous life. If you didn’t live a good life, or if you are having great fear and regret at the time approaching death, know that you have a great opportunity to make yourself right with God. Repent and make amends. Then you can face death with peace.