The Crisis Pregnancy Trauma
All crisis pregnancies are a severe temptation that can feel like torture. The "crisis pregnancy temptation" can range from subtle mild pressures or be very profound and painful. It is experienced differently by every mother. The temptation turns into a sin when the mother decides in her heart to abort. The damage to the mother's soul begins with her decision to abort. Once the decision to abort is made, the crisis pregnancy takes on an entirely new nature. The crisis becomes fused with the sin, and the mother's subjective experience is the two become one.
The crisis pregnancy is experienced and remembered as being equally evil as the sin. The post-abortion trauma is always exacerbated by its preceding crisis pregnancy. The more severe the crisis pregnancy, then the more severe the post-abortion damage will be.
The vast majority of post-abortive individuals are good people in a very tough situation. In their heart, they knew that they did not want to abort, but they did anyway. While in crisis, many were crying to God for help. Hindsight is 20/20, but during a crisis pregnancy, hindsight does not exist. They wish they could go back in time to choose life instead. There are so many mitigating circumstances during a crisis pregnancy that only God can judge the post abortive's heart. Invincible ignorance goes a long way with Jesus' Divine Mercy.
The Mother's Crisis Pregnancy
Most women don't have abortions because it is a deep attraction in her heart. It goes against her maternal instincts and conscience. She is between a rock and a hard place, in a catch-22 situation, and suffering a high-pressure double bind, so she chooses abortion under duress. Anxiety is always part of a crisis pregnancy, but anxiety skyrockets when contemplating abortion, taking the crisis to new heights. Many post-abortive mothers are afraid that all their future pregnancies will be cursed. She believes she deserves God's wrath. She thinks God will punish her by miscarriage, or if born, the child will have some horrible disease.
Sometimes the father worsens the mother's crisis. He may threaten to leave her unless she aborts, or he may refuse to pay child support. These threats usually meet the criteria for verbal and emotional abuse. She worries she will be a single mother with one income, no husband, and a baby.
The Father's Crisis Pregnancy
Post abortive fathers have a different type of crisis pregnancy than the mother. Many of these crisis pregnancy issues are uniquely male issues.
In a way, some men experience the crisis of pregnancy firsthand as they will be a father and are, overwhelmed with the thought of raising a child. Sometimes raising a child they don't want.
Some fathers beg the mother not to have an abortion, but she does anyway, despite his pleas. These men put up the good fight for life but lost. In these cases, it can haunt them for the rest of their life.
From conception, the aborted child is a piece of the mother's heart because she holds the baby in her womb. Male bonding is different and jump-starts when he feels the baby kick or sees the sonogram, but most of the father's bonding occurs after its birth. Holding the baby, gazing into the baby's eyes, and taking care of their newborn baby's needs help him establish his bond. Since men generally have a slower bonding experience and are also more easily able to compartmentalize emotions, many are insulated from the abortion trauma in ways that women can't understand.
While some men don't condone abortion, they do support their woman's decision to abort. His abdication registers in her mind as he wants the abortion. Many women would give birth if they got the green light and heard the father say, "Let's have the baby."
There are also the forgotten fathers who never knew anything about their child's conception, the mother's pregnancy, or the abortion. Some of these fathers learn about their child's abortion years later. Others find out about their children on judgment day.
The Christian's Crisis Pregnancy
Many women who go to church, pray, and read the Bible have very severe crisis pregnancies, especially when compared to non-Christian women who don't know any better. Before the pregnancy, they believed in all the pro-life points of view and were even pro-life advocates. After their abortion experience, many find it practically impossible to keep their Christian identity. Even the non-Christian post-abortive woman who later becomes a Christian can have a retro crisis pregnancy, the weight of which hits them like a ton of bricks.
Some otherwise good Christian women have no compunction about taking birth control pills. Unfortunately, they took abortifacient birth control pills. The mother never realized their type of birth control didn't prevent conception. Their medication allowed for conception but prevented the baby from attaching on to the uterus wall. This caused a spontaneous abortion. These abortions were unintentional, and once again, Invincible ignorance comes into operation. Still, it is a rude awakening that can cause severe retroactive trauma. Let us begin our healing by the renewal and ratification of our baptismal vows. After each question, solemnly say, "I do." Pray this prayer out loud.